Choose Life

To be human is to be both blessed and cursed with Free Will. Rabbi Dr. Abe Twerski teaches that free moral choice is the defining characteristic of humans. Neither animals nor angels have free will, they are subjugated to their singular nature.
God command us to Choose Life...” I put before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose Life. What an order, I can’t go through with it...How do I choose life in the face of inevitable death, overcome the demons of despair that tell me nothing matters, what’s the point, life is hard and then you die. Addicts call it the “fuck its”; the permission slip to give up and get loaded.
The greatest spiritual challenge is to Choose Life and to a negate this choice is the state of Acedia, literally Greek for not caring, the state of spiritual sloth, listlessness or torpor. Evagrius called it the Noonday Demon, an affliction of monastic life.It is a sin that believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, enjoys nothing ,finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing and remains alive because there is nothing for which it will die. (Jeri Holliday)
Acedia is the root cause of addiction and depression. It is existential, not pathological.It is the refusal to engage in the struggle to actively choose life, a minute at a time. To choose life is to make your bed, honor your body, stretch your spirit, maintain your relationships, monitor your thoughts and take the next right action no matter what you feel. It is accepting responsibility for your choices and forgiving yourself and others their imperfections.
For me, spiritual sloth is the deadliest of the 7 deadly sins, requiring a daily commitment to Choose Life by making my bed, taking a walk, cleaning the sink, feeding the dog, loving my husband, and writing this blog.